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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Live now on WeChat:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Making waves on Messenger:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Making waves on Threads:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Live now on YouTube:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Just landed via WeChat:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Freshly posted on Slack:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Broadcasted on Threads:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Just shared via YouTube:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

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