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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Just landed via Telegram:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I'm out of film but still want to impress, I just make a clicking sound and pretend I'm a vintage camera! 📸😎

35mm, 35mm film, camera, candid, film, film camera, girl, girls, humor, only, photograph, photography, thing, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

0

1 month ago

bad, breaking, breaking heart, emotion, good, heart, humor, irony, love, melting, melting heart, relationship
Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

0

2 months ago

back, bratwurst, cheese, cholesterol, food, health, humor, joke, just, level, results, test
A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

0

5 months ago

alien, alien invasion, change, change of pace, hostile, humor, invasion, nice, pace, sarcasm, sounds
They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

0

2 months ago

humor, money, problems, sarcasm, solve, wealth
I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

0

2 months ago

breath, detox, digital, digital detox, every, health, i, just, media, mental, mental health, mind, notification, notification overload, overload, peace, peace of mind, privacy, social, social media, someone, time, want
People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

0

2 months ago

anything, emotion, hate, love, none, people, perception, relationship, self

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

99 shares on Discord this month:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Trending via YouTube:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Making waves on Facebook:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Trending via Snapchat:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Spotted on WeChat:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Breaking via X:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Making waves on Slack:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨