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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Freshly posted on X:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Spotted on Threads:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Going viral on Threads:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Going viral on Discord:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Spotted on Reddit:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

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Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Purple: the official flavor of mysteries we accept 🍇🥤🤔💜"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

59 shares on Threads this month:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

68 shares on Threads this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

26 shares on X this month:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Source??? Pattern recognition.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Just landed via Messenger:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Making waves on Twitch:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

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