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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Breaking via Telegram:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Making waves on Facebook:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Spotted on Instagram:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Going viral on Facebook:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

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Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the holiday shopping center parking lot – where even the mightiest humans are reduced to circling like confused satellites 🚗🛒. It's a true test of patience and perseverance! Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day… but finding a parking spot might just take as long! 😅 #holidaywoes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Going viral on Messenger:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Just shared via Facebook:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Just shared via Telegram:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Trending via WeChat:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Trending via Telegram:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

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