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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

6 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Shared recently on Twitch:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Making waves on Twitch:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Just landed via Reddit:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Breaking via Twitch:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Seen just now on Threads:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

6 months ago

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the holiday shopping center parking lot – where even the mightiest humans are reduced to circling like confused satellites 🚗🛒. It's a true test of patience and perseverance! Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day… but finding a parking spot might just take as long! 😅 #holidaywoes"

accomplish, accomplishment, center, holidays, humans, humor, irony, much, parking, shopping, shopping center, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

6 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Reported on WeChat:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Just shared via TikTok:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Just shared via YouTube:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Trending via X:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

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