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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Making waves on X:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Going bananas on X:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Just landed via WeChat:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Witty Christmas joke about always gaining weight during the holidays.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's stuck in a holiday rut, but hey, at least it's a delicious one! 🎄🍔 #ChristmasFeast"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Discord this month:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

15 shares on X this month:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Just shared via TikTok:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Just landed via Discord:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Going viral on Twitch:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Just landed via Discord:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Spotted on Threads:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Shared recently on Discord:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

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