Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Making waves on Slack:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Going viral on Reddit:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Breaking via WeChat:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's stuck in a holiday rut, but hey, at least it's a delicious one! 🎄🍔 #ChristmasFeast"

Christmas, every, fat, gift, holiday, humor, i, joke, same, thing, tradition, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

0

2 months ago

bizarre, constipation, doctor, dragon, drug, drug experience, experience, hallucination, humor, i, LSD, myself, prescription, saw, shit, sure, surreal, unexpected, why
“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult decision, choice, decision, food, food choice, fry, humor, life, life choice, priorities, salad
Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad hair day, day, due, frustration, hair, humidity, humor, violence, weather
What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

0

3 weeks ago

called, confusion, desire, horny, humor, libido, mental, mental state, mentally, physical, physical response, physically, response, sexuality, state, want
I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, harder, hope, humor, i, morning, motivation, reality
Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

0

2 months ago

always, humor, irony, light, moth, much, nature, night, observation, sun, wait, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

80 shares on X this month:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Live now on Telegram:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Going viral on Telegram:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Spotted on Slack:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨