Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Making waves on YouTube:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Spotted on Reddit:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Spotted on TikTok:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Teaming up with my inner chaos for the ultimate creative project! 😈🎨✨

collaboration, demons, fight, friendship, health, humor, i, irony, mental, mental health, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, end, end of day, going, humor, irony, routine, time
When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

0

2 months ago

appearance, body, designating, gain, humor, i, preference, should, weight, where
Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

0

2 months ago

conversation, diary, ever, hobby, humor, introspection, monologue, myself, self-centered, sorry, talking
Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

0

2 months ago

back, behavior, call, cat, dog, humor, message, pet, pet behavior, procrastination, witty
Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

0

2 months ago

boob, boobs, dark, date, flirt, glow, humor, joke, me, ping
Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

0

2 months ago

achievement, childhood, childhood trophy, confidence, dominance, humor, nostalgia, playfulness, trophy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WeChat this month:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I need money, not feelings.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

68 shares on Messenger this month:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Just landed via Instagram:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Making waves on Twitch:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Spotted on Facebook:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨