Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Going bananas on Discord:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Going viral on Facebook:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Live now on Twitch:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Trending via Twitch:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, I operate on a 'brunch-anytime' schedule. I can't help with early bird problems 🍳🕒 #AfternoonFeaster"

advice, afternoon, ask, bro, day, eat, food, humor, i, lifestyle, me, meal, procrastination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

0

2 months ago

30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management
“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

0

2 months ago

billiards, favorite, favorite hole, favourite, game, hole, humor, i, me, playful, playful remark, pool, pool table, remark, sport, table
Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

0

3 months ago

awesome, humor, instant, instant karma, justice, karma, witnessing
My wife has the worst taste in men.

0

2 months ago

humor, joke, marriage, men, relationship, taste, wife, worst
“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, dismissive, humor, i, interesting, irony, listening, sarcastic, say, take
Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

0

2 months ago

astrology, blame, blaming, decision, full, humor, i, moon, night, tonight, unhinged, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

80 shares on Threads this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

39 shares on Threads this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

96 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Just shared via TikTok:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Live now on Threads:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Seen just now on Reddit:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

My wife has the worst taste in men.

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨