Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Breaking via WeChat:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Just landed via YouTube:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Just shared via WeChat:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Just landed via TikTok:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So, is your AI boyfriend more of a bytes and circuits guy, or does he just speak fluent binary on the first date? 🤖💻❤️

Adam, Adam and Eve, Adam and Steve, AI, boyfriend, dating, eve, gender, humor, i, relationship, steve, technology, USB

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

0

4 months ago

bottle, call, communication, connection, found, frustration, humor, i, message, metaphor, missed, missed connection, never
Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

0

3 weeks ago

activity, cause, enough, frustration, hard, humor, irony, mental, mental activity, never, over, overthinking, think, thinking
Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

0

2 months ago

bible, humor, men, name, people, worst
Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

0

2 months ago

eyes, help, humor, let, me, roll, sarcasm, wit
Netflix & by yourself.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, date, entertainment, fun, fun activity, Netflix, self-care, yourself
Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, opening, people, scam, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Facebook this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

13 shares on Slack this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Making waves on Facebook:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Spotted on X:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Just landed via Slack:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Seen just now on Discord:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Spotted on TikTok:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Spotted on Telegram:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Netflix & by yourself.

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨