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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Going viral on Messenger:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Going viral on Threads:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Making waves on TikTok:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Live now on Telegram:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Just shared via X:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

2 months ago

0

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a 9 to 5 when you can have a 24/7 lavish lifestyle, am I right? 💁‍♀️💰 Just imagine trading in your work pants for designer robes and swapping that morning commute for a leisurely spa day at home! #LivingTheDream"

career, choices, desires, housewife, humor, i, job, life, life choices, opportunity, rich, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

0

2 months ago

breakup, embarrassment, gangsta, humor, last, me, relationship, relationships
If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

0

2 days ago

being, growth, hard, humor, mindset, motivation, personal, personal growth, self-criticism, self-improvement, yourself
Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

0

2 months ago

behavior, care, fun, humor, introvert, just, know, privacy, social, social behavior, too
“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

0

2 months ago

absence, humor, joke, leave, office, others, prepare, PTO, workplace
Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

0

2 months ago

celebration, couples, day, enjoy, happiness, humor, irony, let, love, once, relationships, single, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

0

2 months ago

another, confusion, heck, humor, logic, person, perspective

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Live now on Discord:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Seen just now on Slack:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

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