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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Live now on Facebook:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Spotted on Facebook:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Just landed via TikTok:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Spotted on Messenger:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Shared recently on Discord:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"

blower, comedy, everyday, everyday life, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, leaf, life, need, people, relatable, sarcasm, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

0

1 week ago

after, appliance, Christmas, cooking, danger, dangerous, day, holiday, microwave, morning
Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

0

2 months ago

demon, demons, empty, expression, hell, here, humor, sarcasm
Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

0

2 months ago

comedy, critique, entertainment, fast, Fast and Furious, film, furious, humor, making, movie, sarcastic, stop
That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

0

2 months ago

crowded, humor, irony, joke, nobody, place, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation
It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

0

2 months ago

aliens, away, Earth, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, observation, reason, science, space, space exploration, telescopes
I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

0

3 months ago

change, changes, control, electronics, everything, humor, i, joke, just, pun, remote, remote control, technology, universal, universal remote

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

86 shares on X this month:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

90 shares on Slack this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Trending via WeChat:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Going viral on Instagram:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Just shared via X:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Live now on WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Going viral on TikTok:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Going viral on Twitch:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Going viral on Facebook:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨