Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Just shared via WeChat:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Seen just now on Discord:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Going viral on YouTube:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"

blower, comedy, everyday, everyday life, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, leaf, life, need, people, relatable, sarcasm, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

0

5 months ago

dance, excitement, expression, fun, humor, i, likes, shakalaka, slang
Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

0

2 months ago

convenience, drive, humor, life, procrastination, risk, safety, short, shortness, technology, USB, USB drive
It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

0

2 months ago

early, humor, night, rest, sleep, waking
It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

0

2 months ago

busy, doing, head, humor, mind, nothing, procrastination, self-awareness, thought
I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

0

4 months ago

condiment, cooking, exaggeration, food, humor, i, kitchen, know, love, much, sauce, seasoning, soy, soy sauce, taste, too
If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, coworkers, distraction, every, finish, humor, leave, prophecy, sentence, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

53 shares on Discord this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

28 shares on Twitch this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Making waves on WeChat:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨