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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Making waves on Instagram:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Breaking via WeChat:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Live now on Messenger:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Live now on TikTok:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, I totally relate! Sometimes life just demands a serious ginger ale summit. 🍹🤔

ale, beverage, drink, ginger, ginger ale, humor, i, need, pun, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

0

14 hours ago

25, bagel, bike, biking, delivery, expense, food, food delivery, hangover, humor, normie, poor, soul, spend, type, understand, why
My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

0

2 months ago

better, couch, doing, exactly, furniture, humor, judgment, knows, laziness, looking, me, personality, stop
After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

0

2 months ago

activity, after, charge, chores, domestic, domestic life, dryer, fun, fun activity, humor, laundry, life, little, relaxation, should, tumble
Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

0

4 months ago

afternoon, beverage, california, coffee, crying, emotions, humor, iced, iced coffee, most
I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

0

2 months ago

figure, figure out, going, humor, just, list, longest, need, procrastination, task, to-do, to-do list, today
“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

0

2 months ago

attitude, evil, getting, God, humor, just, mood, period, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Just landed via Facebook:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Trending via Facebook:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Just shared via Reddit:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Making waves on YouTube:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Trending via Instagram:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Just landed via Slack:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨