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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

4 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Just shared via YouTube:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Reported on Facebook:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Spotted on Slack:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Reported on Discord:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

3 months ago

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of the super wealthy lacking basic common sense! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe all that money just clouds their judgment…or they spent it all on gold-plated socks 🧦💸 Who needs brains when you’ve got a vault full of cash, right? 💰😜"

acknowledgment, critique, humor, i, irony, most, people, rich, stupid, stupidity, super, think, time, wealth, wealthy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

4 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Shared recently on Threads:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Just landed via X:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Trending via Messenger:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Breaking via WeChat:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

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