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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Breaking via Instagram:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Seen just now on Discord:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Seen just now on TikTok:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Trending via Discord:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

0
I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the irony of the super wealthy lacking basic common sense! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe all that money just clouds their judgment…or they spent it all on gold-plated socks 🧦💸 Who needs brains when you’ve got a vault full of cash, right? 💰😜"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

77 shares on Facebook this month:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

37 shares on X this month:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like even faster food.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Live now on X:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Shared recently on Slack:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Going viral on Threads:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Going viral on Slack:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Making waves on Instagram:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Spotted on Instagram:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Just shared via Discord:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

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