Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Spotted on WeChat:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Spotted on Reddit:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Shared recently on X:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
When your job description as a higher power includes "hands-off management style" 😂🙌 #NotMyName

doing, evil, higher, higher power, humor, i, ID, just, me, name, people, power, sarcasm, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

1 week ago

bed, cat, cats, childhood, club, fight, fight club, hide, humor, imagination, monster, monsters, pet, where
I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

2 days ago

honesty, humor, i, ID, journal, lying, never, self-reflection, start, too, truth, writing
To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

1 week ago

big, clock, humor, joke, me, oversized, payback, pun, stole, theft, time
Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

2 weeks ago

accident, bodily, bodily function, came, embarrassment, function, humor, joke, just, laugh, little, pee
Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

3 days ago

appreciation, communication, everyone, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, sarcasm, say, should, wit
Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

3 days ago

advice, crazy, humor, little, need, oh, reassurance, relationship, want, women

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Slack this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

88 shares on Threads this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

39 shares on X this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Spotted on X:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Trending via Snapchat:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Just shared via Telegram:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Seen just now on Twitch:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨