Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Just landed via Reddit:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Just landed via Discord:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Trending via Discord:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Just landed via YouTube:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your job description as a higher power includes "hands-off management style" 😂🙌 #NotMyName

doing, evil, higher, higher power, humor, i, ID, just, me, name, people, power, sarcasm, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

0

1 month ago

ahead, change, dollar, Dollar Tree, humor, joke, just, name, need, price, prices, shopping, store, tree, unexpected, unexpected price
At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, personality, podcast, shy, transformation
If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

0

4 weeks ago

fish, humor, i, ID, pun, seaweed, smoking
My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

0

3 months ago

ambition, bed, humor, influence, laziness, me, motivation, procrastination, relatable, sleep
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

0

2 months ago

50, biology, body, bones, cells, energy, humor, i, morning, muscles, sleep, time, wake, wake up
It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

0

2 months ago

away, black, clothes, fashion, packing, seasonal, summer, time, unpacking, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Instagram this month:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

19 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

50 shares on YouTube this month:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

35 shares on Slack this month:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

26 shares on Twitch this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Trending via Snapchat:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Freshly posted on Discord:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Making waves on WeChat:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨