Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Making waves on Discord:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Spotted on Reddit:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs pepper spray when you’ve got a built-in escape plan? 🏃‍♂️ Just remember, when running from a murderer, I don’t have to be the fastest… just faster than you. 😂 #SafetyFirst"

, , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Making waves on Twitch:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Making waves on Twitch:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Trending via Facebook:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Spotted on X:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴