Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Just shared via Twitch:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Going bananas on Discord:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Always fashionably late, except when runway chic is involved! ✈️🤣⌚️

airport, early, humor, never, punctuality, talking, timing, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

0

2 months ago

chair, home, humor, i, love, me, multitask, need, phone, relax, room, sit, thrive, waiting, waiting room
Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, chicken, chicken noodle soup, cold, cold medicine, fever, fifty, health, humor, humor about age, means, medicine, night, noodle, rest, retirement, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, soup, welcome
This is an awful time to be an educated person.

0

2 months ago

awful, commentary, difficult, difficult time, education, humor, intelligence, irony, person, social, social commentary, time
The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

0

2 months ago

cool, crazy, humor, media, never, online, personality, social, social media, thing, Twitter, uniqueness
I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

0

2 months ago

aging, aging humor, everyone, found, freak, freak out, funny moment, grey, grey hair, hair, humor, i, meeting, moment, pubic, pubic hair, reaction, surprise, surprise reaction, today, Zoom, Zoom meeting
Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

0

2 months ago

excitement, exciting, finding, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, keep, opportunity, pissed, pissed off, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Breaking via YouTube:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Just shared via Instagram:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Trending via Twitch:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨