Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Spotted on Instagram:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Live now on YouTube:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Just landed via Discord:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Shared recently on Instagram:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Spotted on YouTube:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Stepping down with grace and heading to the kids' table 🍰👶 #RetiredAdult"

adult, being, humor, i, joke, life, responsibility, sarcasm, stepping, stepping down, thank, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

0

3 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, language, me, nonsense, people, sarcasm, say, sense, shit, start, telling
I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

0

2 months ago

finish, full, God, humor, i, kind, me, procrastination, relate, self-deprecation, something, still, sucks, week
I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

0

2 months ago

afraid, comedy, fear, fix, Funny, health, humor, i, lose, me, mental, mental health, personality, self-awareness, self-care, self-improvement, therapy
Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

0

2 months ago

chores, dishes, everyone, gardening, great, hobby, humor, idea, keep, laundry, multitasking, procrastination, self-deprecating, shoutout, start
We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, adults, expectations, hibernation, humor, irony, life, relaxation, responsibility, right, stress
Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, clothes, comeback, fashion, humor, sorry, style, trend, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

91 shares on Slack this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

74 shares on X this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Just shared via Telegram:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Trending via TikTok:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Making waves on WeChat:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨