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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Live now on Reddit:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Just landed via X:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Live now on Pinterest:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me, myself, and I forming a mutual hate club in the room 🤷‍♂️🤣 #hatersgonnahate"

humor, imagine, introspection, irony, just, me, negativity, room, self-hate, self-reflection, solitude

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

1 month ago
activity, best, driving, fun, gaming, humor, Kart, Mario, training, turned, winter
Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

2 months ago
amy, Amy Winehouse, denial, fun, good, humor, morning, rehab, winehouse
Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

1 month ago
4, American, constitutional, constitutional right, fifth, Friday, holiday, humor, i, july, July 4, know, right, take, take the fifth, think
I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

1 month ago
comparison, convince, criticism, example, family-run, humor, i, irony, korea, me, north, North Korea, politics, quality, should, sign, understand
Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

1 month ago
bathroom, gangster, humor, need, pee, reality, situation, urgency
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

2 months ago
cats, culture, Egyptians, history, humor, internet, still, today, used, walls, worship, writing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Live now on Instagram:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Going viral on TikTok:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Going viral on X:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

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Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

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Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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