Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Trending via Slack:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Spotted on Instagram:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Spotted on YouTube:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Trending via Slack:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Channeling my inner Dickens this Christmas – Bah humbug to wealth, hello to the joy of being broke! 🎩💸 #LivingTheVictorianLife"

celebration, charles, Christmas, Dickens, holiday, honor, humor, i, irony, literary, literary reference, poor, reference

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, awkward, awkwardness, conversation, culture, fill, gagnam, Gagnam Style, humor, i, K-pop, need, pause, pop, pop culture, saying, self-awareness, social, social anxiety, stop, style
Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

0

2 months ago

experience, experiences, frustration, human, human experience, interface, keyboard, remote, technology, truly, TV, type, typing, user, user interface, using, worst
I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

0

2 months ago

bed, everyone, exhaustion, fun, going, humor, keep, party, quiet, sleep, try
The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

0

2 months ago

admit, change, climate, environment, going, humor, irony, issue, nothing, problem, solution
Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

0

4 months ago

babe, communication, concern, dark, dark humor, day, humor, joke, okay, relationship
I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

0

2 months ago

communication, face, humor, i, love, people, punching, sarcasm, wit, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

40 shares on Threads this month:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Just shared via YouTube:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Spotted on Facebook:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Making waves on X:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Going viral on Threads:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨