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Ah, the timeless ritual of warming up — because nothing says "ready for action" like finally rolling out of bed without pulling a muscle! 😅🛏️🔥 Remember, even your bed needs a warm-up before you launch into the day. 😉💪 #MorningStretchGoals

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

1 month ago

accomplish, accomplishment, center, holidays, humans, humor, irony, much, parking, shopping, shopping center, struggle
Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

2 months ago

adult, adults, anything, important, jail, just, little, name, paper, piece, pinky, pinky promise, promise, send, serious, signature, silly, wrong
Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

1 month ago

activity, concert, concerts, coworker, coworkers, excuse, fun, fun activity, humor, i, meeting, meetings, need, save, talk, telling, today, voice, weekend, work
A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

4 months ago

authentication, frustration, humor, me, poorly, request, security, stress, technology, thing, timing, two-factor, two-factor authentication
Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

1 month ago

connection, friend, friends, fun, go out, life, lifestyle, mysterious, please, save, social, social life
Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

2 months ago

adventure, bring, expectations, humor, i, know, madness, men, place, relationship, tell

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Making waves on Slack:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Seen just now on Threads:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

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Activity Log ✨

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

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It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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