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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Spotted on Threads:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Breaking via Discord:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🏆🏡 Training for the gold medal in couch curling and fridge foraging! 🍔🍕🥇

homebody, maximizing, maximizing value, Olympic, Olympic sport, rent, sport, turning, value

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

0

2 months ago

absence, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, i, personality, play, role, show
People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, glasses, opinion, people, reading
Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, communication, crazy, garbage, going, jail, letter, mail, pieces, reply, straight
I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

0

4 months ago

bro, brush, casual, cat, humor, i, whatever
I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

0

2 months ago

anyone, anything, bedtime, casual, evening, going, humor, humor quote, joke, relaxed, sleep, want
Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

0

2 months ago

activity, done, fun, fun activity, joke, miscommunication, number, numbers, prank, random, random number, surprise, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

45 shares on Discord this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Trending via Instagram:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Making waves on Slack:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Just shared via X:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Just shared via YouTube:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨