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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,939

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Trending via Messenger:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Going viral on YouTube:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Just shared via Pinterest:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Just landed via TikTok:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Just landed via Telegram:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

4 months ago

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Commentary:
🏆🏡 Training for the gold medal in couch curling and fridge foraging! 🍔🍕🥇

homebody, maximizing, maximizing value, Olympic, Olympic sport, rent, sport, turning, value

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

5 days ago
day, getaway, Google, googled, health, humor, i, just, mountain, nature, need, romantic, symptom, symptoms
Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

1 month ago
gift, humor, i, item, love, me, oh, reaction, surprise, unwrap
Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

1 month ago
behavior, good, good behavior, humor, just, new, new start, recommend, recommendation, someone, start
Time needs a speed limit.

1 month ago
humor, irony, life, limit, needs, philosophy, speed, time
I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

1 month ago
am, children, content, content provider, dad, dad jokes, family, father, humor, i, jokes, mean, parent, parenting, proud, proud parent, provider
Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

1 month ago
apocalypse, crossing, dating, fingers, four, Four Horseman, fun, horseman, humor, irony, joke, single

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Going viral on Reddit:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Live now on Discord:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Going viral on X:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

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Activity Log ✨

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Time needs a speed limit.

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Is this art or trash?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

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Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Time needs a speed limit.

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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