Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Live now on Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Breaking via Facebook:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Breaking via Pinterest:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When he says he’ll give 110%, but he meant 110% of the bare minimum 🤦‍♂️🙈

effort, give, humor, i, love, men, minimalism, opportunity, relationship, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

0

1 month ago

acting, acting up, before, Christmas, claus, disbelief, holiday, mischief, right, Santa, Santa Claus, town
The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

0

2 months ago

awkward, camera, guy, humor, know, mistake, shut, shutter, situation, stall
With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, chill, date, entertainment, humor, me, Netflix, panic, prime, streaming
An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

0

2 months ago

adult, humor, ibuprofen, life, life skills, medicine, organization, pain, pain relief, person, place, relief, skills
I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

0

2 months ago

Banjo, Chandelier, humor, influencer, Instagram, kid, kids, mom, name, parenting, Parmesan
I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

0

2 months ago

alone, box, break, break room, donut, donuts, food, humor, i, indulgence, person, room, temptation, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

50 shares on Threads this month:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

14 shares on X this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Making waves on Threads:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Just landed via Messenger:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Spotted on Reddit:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Going viral on Twitch:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Going viral on Threads:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨