Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Dec 30, 2025

4,054

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Going viral on Facebook:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Breaking via Facebook:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Trending via Reddit:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Seen just now on X:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

5 months ago

0

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Still trying to figure out why I’m standing in the garage singing Spice Girls songs at full volume. 🎤🕺🔧

90s, ability, distraction, forgetfulness, garage, humor, i, lyric, lyrics, memory, nostalgia, remember, song, song lyric, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

0

2 months ago

attitude, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, moments, office, office supply, pen, picked, procrastination, random, random moments, supply, today, unexpected, used, writing
I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

0

2 months ago

anything, enthusiasm, fire, i, joy, motivation, passion, purpose, set, soul, time
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

0

2 months ago

advice, coping, dog, eat, handle, humor, just, pee, play, situation, stress, walk
Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

0

2 months ago

dating, dating struggle, dynamics, humor, just, observation, relationship, single, social, social dynamics, someone, struggle, understanding, wondering
I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

0

2 months ago

desire, feminism, humor, i, irony, modern, relationship, upsetting, want, ways
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

0

4 weeks ago

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Just landed via WeChat:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Spotted on YouTube:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Seen just now on Threads:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

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