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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Jan 6, 2026

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Breaking via Messenger:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Trending via X:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Going bananas on Discord:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Just shared via Telegram:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

2 months ago

0

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: your soulmate is an extraterrestrial and is currently cruising past Mars, contemplating the possibility of life on earth 👽🌍 #SearchingForSouls #InterstellarDating"

Earth, existential, humor, life, love, relationship, soulmate, wondering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

0

2 months ago

act, age, grown, grown up, humor, i, just, maturity, self-perception, want, young, youth
I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

0

2 months ago

breakup, comedy, dating, ex, graph, humor, i, joke, past, relationships, sarcasm, why
Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

0

2 months ago

25, adulthood, age, alarm, humor, life, need, problems, reality, stress, turn, wake
May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, humor, kick, morning, motivation, reality, wake up
Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

0

2 months ago

attitude, determination, different, frustration, humor, i, light, mind, mindset, mood, negative, negativity, perspective, rude, sarcasm, somebody, something, stand, upset
The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

0

2 months ago

being, call, difference, dog, humor, kid, main, name, parenting, pet, response

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

26 shares on X this month:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

49 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

75 shares on X this month:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Seen just now on Slack:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Seen just now on Discord:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Shared recently on Threads:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

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