Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Making waves on Threads:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Just shared via Twitch:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Breaking via Telegram:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Live now on Discord:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Foxes need coffee too! ☕🦊 Sounds like someone just got outfoxed by their own joke! 😂📞

asked, call, called, fox, humor, i, joke, me, misunderstanding, phone, phone call, saw, tell, wife, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

0

2 months ago

am, case, cheating, comfort, emotionally, emotionally invested, feel, furniture, humor, i, invested, laziness, loveseat, recliner, relaxation, sometimes, wondering
Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

0

2 months ago

casual, eating, fat, food, guy, hand, hands, humor, laziness, lazy, political, rice, self-deprecation
Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

0

2 months ago

across, always, aspiration, bus, disappear, goal, goals, humor, i, interview, interviewer, joke, me, meant, professional, professional goal, someone, stare, street, wanted
I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

0

2 months ago

arguing, conflict, dead, dead relative, family, fun, humor, i, keep, psychic, relationship, relative
Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

0

2 months ago

better, confidence, content, content creation, creation, humor, i, media, motivation, myself, procrastination, self-improvement, social, social media, working
What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

0

2 months ago

career, compatible, humor, joke, lifestyle, most, unemployed, unemployment, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

88 shares on Slack this month:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

52 shares on Slack this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

44 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Trending via Telegram:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Seen just now on Facebook:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Spotted on Telegram:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Trending via TikTok:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Shared recently on Discord:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨