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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Just shared via Messenger:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Going viral on Threads:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Breaking via Telegram:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Broadcasted on X:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Trending via Pinterest:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Making waves on X:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Just landed via Instagram:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Just shared via Threads:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they’re just silently training for the world’s fastest thumb competition 😂📱👀

attention, communication, faster, humor, interaction, irony, media, nobody, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, talk, views

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

0

2 months ago

brain, fat, hair, life, skin
“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop
I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

0

2 months ago

aging, breaking, humor, i, knees, noise, prepared, someone, sound, spaghetti, stairs, time
People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, brain, brains, head, heads, humor, inside, irony, just, maybe, people
People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

0

1 month ago

apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows
“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

0

2 months ago

busy, call, depends, me, need, plans, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Threads this month:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Been getting really into nothing.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Trending via Facebook:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨