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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Just shared via Messenger:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Trending via TikTok:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Spotted on Instagram:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Just landed via Telegram:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

2 months ago

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When you want a slice of minimalism 🍕😄

food, humor, nothing, pizza, plain, plain pizza, simple, simple food

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Facebook this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Making waves on YouTube:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Seen just now on Slack:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Just landed via Instagram:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Just shared via Reddit:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Live now on WhatsApp:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Shared recently on Reddit:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Breaking via Facebook:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Making waves on Threads:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨