Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Just landed via Discord:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Just shared via Discord:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Just shared via Telegram:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Trending via Discord:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

4 weeks ago

Playful text about simplicity, highlighting humor around plain pizza's charm.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you want a slice of minimalism 🍕😄

food, humor, nothing, pizza, plain, plain pizza, simple, simple food

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

68 shares on X this month:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

84 shares on Threads this month:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Just landed via Discord:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Live now on TikTok:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Just landed via X:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨