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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Freshly posted on X:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Seen just now on Slack:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Just landed via Discord:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Spotted on Threads:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Spotted on Snapchat:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Going bananas on X:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Just shared via Telegram:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Just landed via Threads:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

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Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.
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Commentary:
Mornings need a secret coffee break just to handle the upcoming chaos! ☕🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is weird and then you die.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Freshly posted on X:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Spotted on Twitch:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Broadcasted on X:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Going bananas on Threads:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Freshly posted on X:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

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