Commentary:
When sleep is a marathon and I just won the gold medal 🏅😴🎉
My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.
Commentary:
Sounds like you’re looking for a unicorn that moonlights as a stand-up comedian 🦄🎤
The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Sleeping Olympics gold medalist right here! 😴🥇 #ProNapAthlete
Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.
Commentary:
When you've defeated the final boss but the real challenge is getting someone to listen to your epic tale 🎮🤔📢
When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.
Commentary:
When love hits you harder than a 90s boy band 😂💘🔫
I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just doing my part to keep the universe's snack supply and bossing quota in balance! 🍕📈😅
That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.
Commentary:
Mind soup alert! Somebody's been overcooking their thoughts again! 🧐🤯🍲
“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”
Commentary:
Level up to macroplastics! Who needs kale when you can chew on Legos? 😆🔍🥬
Normalize booing in the workplace.
Commentary:
I can't wait to bring my foam finger and popcorn to the next staff meeting 🍿👎😂
Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.
Commentary:
When math gets you more questions than answers in your relationship! 🤔📱➗📓