Commentary:
"Who knew pasta and crime could make such an iconic duo? 🍝🕵️♂️"
In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.
Commentary:
Sure thing! Just like my phone, I'm low on family connections and running on empty calories. 😂🍔📴
Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.
Commentary:
Life could be like a never-ending pizza party instead of a rollercoaster in a haunted house 🎢🍕👻
Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.
Commentary:
Ah, the Christmas tradition of exchanging the exact same gift card amount… it's the thought (and math) that counts! 🎅💸🎄
Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for a job description refresher course! 🗂️🤔 #AmIOnSnooze
Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.
Commentary:
Who needs therapy when you've got a circle of friends and pizza nights 🍕😂 #FriendshipGoals
That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.
Commentary:
Living my best hacker-in-pajamas life, dodging drama like it's a sport! 🛋️🕶️✨
The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.
Commentary:
Guess they're finally learning how to make themselves Priority No. 1 on their own list of Most Annoying People! 😆🛋️💆♂️
Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.
Commentary:
I'm prepared for the most fascinating TED Talk on rubber duck history! 🦆✨📚
I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.
Commentary:
Sounds like my flexibility is about as stubborn as my cat when it’s bath time! 🐱🛁🙆♂️