Commentary:
Why do I suddenly feel the urge to start calling everyone "The"? 🐻🤔🎉
Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.
Commentary:
When your favorite novel is the 10-page pitch deck! 📊📚😅
I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.
Commentary:
When you send a vampire text at night but by morning you’ve gone full-on sunlight mode 🌞🦇😅
God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?
Commentary:
In the age of the internet, even opening hearts has a loading time ⏳🙄🎬
Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.
Commentary:
When your friend treats a family outing like a celebrity scandal 🎤💔😂
We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.
Commentary:
Just when you thought it was safe to change the channel… 📺🙃 Breaking news: it's still unpleasant! 😂📰
Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.
Commentary:
Sounds like a taxing experience! 🐜💰🍭
“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”
Commentary:
This is me perfecting the art of wall-staring while dodging productivity one epic gaze at a time! 🎨🛋️
This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.
Commentary:
Looks like someone skipped their "kindness to men" class! 😂🙅♀️
As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.
Commentary:
Looks like the North Pole needs a relationship counselor! 🎅💋🤣