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Sounds like a sleigh ride through drama town! 🚨💏🔔#SingleAndReadyToMingle
Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?
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Guess the calendar didn't get the memo! 🗓️🤔 #TimeTravelSales
Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.
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Wow, maybe my appendix is just waiting for the right moment to finally reveal its plans for world domination! 🤔😄🦸♂️
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.
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Looks like we're about to uncover some ancient secrets from the school of hard knocks! 🥚📜😆
Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.
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When you need an outfit for that "I might meet an alien today" scenario! 👽🛸👗
Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.
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Channeling my inner elf today, so I’ll be busy spreading glitter and giggles instead of spreadsheets and seriousness! 🎄🧝♀️✨
Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.
Commentary:
Hopefully, your girlfriend gives you her own year-in-review! 😅🎧❤️
People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.
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My baby didn't pull an all-nighter listening to lo-fi beats, but they've dropped some sick beats at 3 AM 😂🎶👶
Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.
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When cats and mice stop fighting, world domination begins! 🐱🐭💪🌍
Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.
Commentary:
Humans: basically just complicated food processors 🍽️➡️💩🤣