Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Live now on Discord:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Just landed via X:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Breaking via Instagram:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Trending via Slack:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Trending via Threads:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Just shared via Twitch:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Spotted on WeChat:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

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Commentary:
"Guess that's one way to keep your options open! 😅🚽👖"

accident, bathroom, crime, embarrassing, humor, joke, pants, public, public urination, restroom, silly, urination

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

0

2 months ago

before, chores, date, humor, parenting, play, play date, pointless, tidy-up
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

0

2 months ago

advice, coping, dog, eat, handle, humor, just, pee, play, situation, stress, walk
Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

0

2 months ago

desire, food, humor, sacrifice, sell, soul, temptation
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

0

2 months ago

being, censorship, communication, free, free speech, humor, intelligence, intelligent, live, offended, offense, people, society, speech, stupid, stupidity, time, where
If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

0

5 months ago

charm, day, ever, extended, golden, here, hospitality, houseguest, humor, invisibility, invisible, night, period, rule, success, time, yourself
I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

0

2 months ago

going, going down, humanity, humor, i, observation, photography, pictures, sun, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Discord this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

12 shares on X this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Shared recently on Messenger:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Shared recently on X:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Trending via Telegram:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Making waves on X:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Trending via Twitch:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Live now on X:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Breaking via Slack:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨