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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Going viral on WeChat:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Shared recently on Facebook:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Just shared via Discord:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Just landed via WeChat:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

11 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about preferring fiction over self-help books, humorous and playful tone.

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Commentary:
When self-help books tell you to organize your life, but fiction helps you embrace the chaos 🧠📚😂

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

67 shares on Slack this month:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Making waves on Instagram:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Just shared via Twitch:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Just shared via Slack:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

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Activity Log ✨

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨