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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Just landed via Facebook:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Making waves on Slack:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Live now on Slack:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Spotted on Discord:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

6 days ago

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Commentary:
When self-help books tell you to organize your life, but fiction helps you embrace the chaos 🧠📚😂

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

1 month ago

admit, guilty, guilty pleasure, honesty, humor, i, irony, just, music, music taste, need, personal, personal preference, pleasure, point, preference, relatable, self-awareness, taste
Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

1 month ago

curiosity, everyone, gathering, house, humor, invitation, social, social gathering, surprise, tomorrow, want, world
I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

2 months ago

battery, charged, charging, daily, daily life, humor, i, lay, lazy, life, phone, procrastination, relatable, suck, taking, technology
Hawk o the mornin tuah

1 month ago

greeting, hawk, humor, mornin, morning, play, play on words, Tuah, wordplay, words
When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

2 months ago

eat, food, fridge, going, hands, humor, i, laziness, lemon, lemons, life, me, next, procrastination, put, salad
I need to have a ginger ale about this.

3 months ago

ale, beverage, drink, ginger, ginger ale, humor, i, need, pun, wordplay

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Just shared via Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Trending via Pinterest:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Spotted on TikTok:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

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Activity Log ✨

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Hawk o the mornin tuah

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

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Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Hawk o the mornin tuah

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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