Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Trending via Snapchat:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Seen just now on Discord:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Going viral on WeChat:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Live now on Slack:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Making waves on Threads:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Making waves on TikTok:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Going viral on X:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When self-help books tell you to organize your life, but fiction helps you embrace the chaos 🧠📚😂

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

3 months ago

after, AI, bathroom, bathroom break, behavior, break, clocking, clocking in, coming, human, human behavior, humor, ID, job, jobs, poop, productivity, right, take, toilet, work, workplace
Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

2 months ago

cream, every, fast, fast food, flag, fly, food, half, half mast, humor, ice, ice cream, machine, mast, McDonald’s, should
Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

2 months ago

boredom, class, excuse, feel, humor, nodding, pretending, sad, sorry, student, teacher
I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

2 months ago

butter, complaint, crumb, crumbs, difficult, difficult time, family, humor, keep, leave, me, please, thoughts, time, visiting, visitor
Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

2 months ago

comfort, familiarity, home, tap, tap water, taste, water, where
Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

2 months ago

asking, awareness, battle, conversation, drinking, empathy, every, fighting, health, humor, know, meet, nothing, person, support, water, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

25 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

64 shares on Discord this month:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

77 shares on Discord this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Trending via YouTube:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Trending via WeChat:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Just shared via X:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Just landed via Slack:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨