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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Making waves on Twitch:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Just landed via Messenger:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Trending via WeChat:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Trending via Slack:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Going viral on WeChat:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Going bananas on Slack:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Spotted on YouTube:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Live now on WeChat:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Night shower: Feeling like a spa goddess ready to conquer Netflix. Morning shower: Welcome to the shampoo-powered hamster wheel! 🛁✨🔄

clean, cog, core, machine, morning, night, productivity, self-care, sexy, shower, vibe, vibes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

0

2 months ago

drain, energy, humor, i, interaction, love, people, personality, sarcasm, social, social interaction, vibe
“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

0

4 months ago

absolutely, election, hate, humor, hurt, hypocrisy, i, irony, only, people, politics, regret, thought, vote, voted, voter
Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

0

2 months ago

complain, coworkers, family, fire, hr, humor, kids, mom, relationships, workplace
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

0

5 months ago

beat, chess, competition, computer, humor, kickboxing, match, me, once, sport, technology
It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

0

4 months ago

being, being listened, feel, feeling, girl, i, listened, little, little girl, me, talking, trigger
(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

0

2 months ago

confession, dating, even, guy, humor, i, love, relationship, unrequited, unrequited love

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

31 shares on Threads this month:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

76 shares on Threads this month:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

66 shares on X this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Shared recently on X:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Trending via Instagram:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Going viral on Instagram:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Just landed via Reddit:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Just shared via Slack:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Just shared via Telegram:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Just landed via Threads:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨