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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,991

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Making waves on Pinterest:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Breaking via Twitch:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Going viral on Telegram:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Just shared via TikTok:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Night shower: Feeling like a spa goddess ready to conquer Netflix. Morning shower: Welcome to the shampoo-powered hamster wheel! 🛁✨🔄

clean, cog, core, machine, morning, night, productivity, self-care, sexy, shower, vibe, vibes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

1 month ago
bottom, determination, drilling, funny observation, hit, humor, kind, observation, perseverance, person, rock, rock bottom, self-deprecation, start
The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

1 month ago
animal, concern, divorce, humor, independence, lion, metaphor, relationship, strength
I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

1 month ago
chef, cook, cooking, cooking fail, dinner, fail, food, humor, kitchen, mess, pan
Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

1 month ago
actually, affection, else, humor, i, love, me, meant, realization, relationship, self, self-love, someone, want
Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

1 month ago
20, again, age, birthday, humor, i, know, nostalgia, reflection, regret, time, wisdom, youth
Somebody needs to get my shit together.

1 month ago
humor, motivation, need, needs, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, somebody, together

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Spotted on Discord:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Live now on Telegram:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Trending via Twitch:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

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Activity Log ✨

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

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Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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