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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,960

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Going viral on WeChat:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Breaking via WeChat:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Trending via Facebook:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Breaking via X:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Can confirm! My brain cells take a vacation every time I read a "there, their, they're" debate! 🧠✈️😂

communication, grammar, humor, language, lesson, lessons, lot, media, social, social media, teach

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

1 month ago
American, cigarette, cigarettes, culture, humor, identity, name, native, Native American, smoke
With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

1 month ago
belief, believe, body, body image, fake, fake information, humor, i, image, information, mirrors, refuse, scales, self-perception
He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

1 month ago
cockroach, compliment, everything, humor, i, key, low, low key, me, resilience, sarcasm, second, self-reflection, thought
The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

1 month ago
brella, creation, going, hesitation, humor, inventor, naming, umbrella, wordplay
It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

1 month ago
banknote, fake, hold, humor, light, people, real, shame
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

4 weeks ago
baby, baby talk, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, plant, plants, talk, talking

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Spotted on Facebook:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Spotted on Instagram:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have thought one billion times about everything.

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

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Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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