The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

33 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.