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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

48 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Live now on Discord:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Just shared via X:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Making waves on TikTok:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Making waves on Pinterest:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

6 months ago

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like cannons finally got the memo about 'peace and love' 🕊️💥. Who knew they could have a change of heart? Or maybe they just aim for targets that aren't moving 🤷‍♂️🎯. Either way, RIP to the good ol' days of being a cannon operator. Your job prospects have truly 'shot' down 🤣🔫."

cannon, change, death, dramatic, dramatic change, gone, good, good news, history, humor, hundred, irony, last, news

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

48 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Seen just now on X:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Making waves on Threads:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Making waves on Threads:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

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