Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Making waves on YouTube:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Just landed via Messenger:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Going viral on Slack:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Just shared via Instagram:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my daily quest for coffee, but with less XP. ☕😅🏡

day, every, game, getting, horror, house, i, leaving, only, play, survival

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

0

2 months ago

another, cars, community, conflict, cops, front, gossip, house, humor, likes, neighbors, nothing, tension, together
You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

0

2 months ago

argue, communication, fast, female, humor, relationship, reply
Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, book, brag, crayons, finished, going, humor, i, need, new, reading, sitting
Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

0

2 months ago

compliment, give, humor, irony, let, me, mistaken, person, response, self-deprecation, synopsis, why
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

0

2 months ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

0

2 months ago

foot, hole, humor, i, sarcasm, shit, sock, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

33 shares on Threads this month:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

62 shares on X this month:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Spotted on WeChat:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Seen just now on Threads:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Just landed via Reddit:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Going viral on X:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨