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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Spotted on Slack:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Going viral on Facebook:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Shared recently on Threads:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Live now on Messenger:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like a vintage vinyl in a Spotify playlist world! 🎶📼😅

clash, cultural, cultural clash, generation, humor, identity, old, old soul, people, soul, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

2 months ago

appearance, burger, Burger King, construction, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, king, McDonald’s, never, observation, seen, show, surprise, under
I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

2 months ago

electricity, embarrassment, everyone, hate, humor, i, live, live wire, shock, skeleton, wire
Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

2 months ago

angel, example, heaven, humor, joke, life, me, office, work
I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

2 months ago

behavior, humor, ID, liking, liking post, me, media, own, post, privacy, self-love, social, social media, social media behavior, watch
I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

2 months ago

anticipation, away, before, before picture, fitness, humor, i, loss, months, perfect, picture, self-deprecation, six, six months, think, weight, weight loss
You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

2 months ago

adulthood, age, buying, check, day, good, good day, having, house, humor, reality, reality check, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

93 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Just landed via Threads:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Just landed via TikTok:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Just shared via Reddit:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Making waves on YouTube:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨