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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

13 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Trending via Pinterest:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Just shared via WeChat:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Broadcasted on X:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Making waves on X:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Going viral on Messenger:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

6 months ago

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

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Commentary:
Oh, the classic "you can't miss it" directions – it's like a challenge for those of us with a knack for getting lost 🤷‍♂️🗺️ Who knew getting lost could lead to such amusing adventures! Just remember, if you do happen to find your way back to them, consider giving them some navigational pointers 😉🤣

back, confusion, directions, giving, humor, i, irony, just, lost, love, me, miscommunication, miss, navigation, someone, tell, travel, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

13 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Spotted on Instagram:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Breaking via Facebook:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Shared recently on Slack:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Freshly posted on X:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Just landed via Slack:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

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