When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

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I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

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Life begins when you can afford it.

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Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

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If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

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Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

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There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

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The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.