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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Crank it up to 11 and let the good vibes drown out the grumbles! 🎶🔊😄

booster, encouragement, feeling, feeling down, just, little, loud, louder, mood, mood booster, music, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

0

2 months ago

bad, honesty, humor, i, lot, offer, self-deprecation, still
“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

0

2 months ago

again, comedy, fall, falling, humor, i, irony, procrastination, repetition, sarcasm, say, self-awareness, whatever
I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, eaten, ending, expectation, fairy tale, fairytale, fantasy, humor, i, irony, plan, still, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, wolf
Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

0

2 months ago

around, digging, everything, grave, here, humor, i, own, responsibility, sarcasm, self-deprecation
Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

0

2 months ago

expense, haircut, humor, insurance, necessity, self-care, should
Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty standard, commercial, commercials, gorilla, hairless, hairless leg, humor, impress, leg, legs, razor, satire, shave, shaving, someone, standard, stop, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

97 shares on X this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

27 shares on X this month:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Live now on Threads:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Making waves on Discord:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Making waves on Facebook:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Making waves on Instagram:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨