Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the classic 'weird mood house arrest' – where fuzzy socks become your best friends and pajamas are the official uniform 🧦🏠 Might as well start a pillow fort and declare yourself the king/queen of the living room while you're at it! 👑 #MoodSwingsGotNothingOnMe"

arrest, couple, couple days, days, ever, house, house arrest, humor, isolation, mood, put, self-imposed, weird, weird mood, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

1 month ago
drama, fine, fire, girl, house, humor, irony, relationship
With great power comes a huge electric bill.

1 month ago
bill, cost, electric, electric bill, electricity, energy, great, huge, humor, joke, power, responsibility
Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

1 month ago
burrito, call, comfort, food, good, guy, humor, i, late, late night, me, need, night, over, relaxation, sleep, tuck
I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

1 month ago
food, humor, i, megabite, megabyte, never, regret, taste, technology, wasted
We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

1 month ago
agency, bureaucracy, creativity, federal, federal agency, humor, imagination, irony, limitation, limited, only
“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

1 month ago
Bluetooth, fun, game, humor, insane, lone, lone person, loud, observation, person, play, public, social, social observation, speaking

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Making waves on TikTok:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Trending via TikTok:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

You wish you had this many chins.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏