Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Trending via Reddit:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Going viral on Instagram:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Spotted on YouTube:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally found the secret to happiness: fewer texts and more snacks! 😂🍕📵

dating, funniness, happiness, happy, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, stopped, thanks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

0

2 months ago

comedy, going, grandfather, humor, iceberg, irony, ship, shouting, sink, sinking, situational, situational comedy, theater, throw, Titanic, tried, warning
Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, busy, funny observation, nobody, notice, noticed, observation, said, self-consciousness, social, social anxiety, thing, too, weird, weird thing, worry
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

0

2 months ago

app, diary, form, here, humor, humor quote, people, sarcasm, say, seeking, self-awareness, validation
How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

0

2 months ago

banana, creativity, decide, decision, humor, inventor, language, person, spelling, stop, wordplay
Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

0

5 months ago

due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time
According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

0

2 months ago

30, communication, distraction, humor, middle, new, people, sentence, study, trail, trail off

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Just landed via Instagram:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Spotted on YouTube:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Trending via Threads:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Trending via Facebook:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Shared recently on Instagram:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨