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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

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Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Just shared via Messenger:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Trending via TikTok:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Making waves on Slack:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs hugs when you've got a family-sized bag of crisps to keep you company! 🤷🏻‍♂️🥔 #SnackTime #Priorities"

bag, crisps, family, food, humor, i, joke, longing, miss, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

4 months ago
communication, decade, decades, exhaustion, humor, i, run, say, speech, things, time, well
The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

1 month ago
change, city, doors, driving, humor, pothole, radio, station, transportation
You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

1 month ago
activity, apple, humor, joke, me, original, picking, reference, sin, temptation, want
Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

1 month ago
dress, eating, effort, enough, fit, fitness, food, humor, later, lifestyle, making, marriage, still, wedding, wedding dress
Overthinking should at least burn calories.

1 month ago
burn, calory, exercise, humor, joke, least, overthinking, should, wit
If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

1 month ago
calory, comedy, dieting, fitness, humor, ID, joke, stress, supermodel, weight

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Seen just now on Discord:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Just landed via Twitch:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Spotted on Messenger:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Coffee is better when you have no work.

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

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I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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