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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,875

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Seen just now on Instagram:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Breaking via Slack:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Live now on Slack:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Going viral on Threads:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like even Google knows I'm dedicated to freestyle life choices 🤷‍♂️💻🤣

bar, before, crash, disappointed, disappointment, even, Google, humor, i, instruction, instructions, listen, name, results, sarcasm, search, under, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

5 months ago
atheist, belief, humor, prayer, prayers, religion, send, skepticism, thought, thoughts
They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

5 months ago
experience, humor, invent, invention, life, relationship, sarcasm, should, turn, worst, worst experience
Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

1 month ago
diagram, hate, humor, love, middle, opinion, preferences, venn, Venn diagram
Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

1 month ago
activity, done, fun, fun activity, joke, miscommunication, number, numbers, prank, random, random number, surprise, texting
Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

1 month ago
boy, charge, favorite, humor, i, John, love, Martini, media, relationship, social, social media, Venmo, wife
The shitshow must go on.

4 months ago
chaos, humor, mess, motivation, persistence

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Spotted on YouTube:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Making waves on TikTok:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Trending via Reddit:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

The shitshow must go on.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

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I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

The shitshow must go on.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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