Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Going viral on Slack:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Making waves on Slack:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Going viral on Slack:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Spotted on WeChat:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Breaking via Messenger:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Spotted on X:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So basically, I've been wasting my time learning to parley with fictional horse-riding warriors! 🐴📜🏰

degree, Dothraki, education, fantasy, fantasy language, humor, international, international law, joke, language, law, real

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

0

5 months ago

being, being somewhere, going, going home, home, honesty, humor, i, introvert, mean, obligation, relatable, say, social, social obligation, somewhere, want
Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

0

2 months ago

40s, acceptance, age, aging, good, good health, health, humor, late, late 40s, life, life stages, longer, stages, welcome
When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

0

2 months ago

dependency, free, freedom, humor, irony, people, phones, technology, tether, wireless, wires
Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

0

5 months ago

backward, bend, bend backward, cowgirl, exorcist, humor, i, position, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl, sex, sex position
If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

0

2 months ago

doing, exist, hope, humor, i, me, other me, parallel, parallel universe, self-reflection, universe, well, well-being
Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

0

2 months ago

acknowledgment, everyone, honesty, humor, life, pretending, relatable, same, shoutout, struggle, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Instagram this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

28 shares on X this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Going viral on Reddit:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Just landed via Discord:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love it when God gives me money.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Live now on Messenger:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Live now on Snapchat:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨