Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Making waves on TikTok:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Going viral on Discord:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Just landed via Threads:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Going viral on Discord:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Making waves on Messenger:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Just landed via Threads:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

2 months ago

0

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal dilemma of the chocolate lover – to eat or not to eat, that is the question! 🍫💭 One piece leads to another, and before you know it, you're on a delightful journey to chocolatey happiness! 🤣 Embrace the sweet temptation and enjoy the delicious energy boost one piece at a time!"

another, chocolate, energy, enough, humor, indulgence, just, motivation, piece, snack, sweets, take, temptation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hawk o the mornin tuah

0

2 months ago

greeting, hawk, humor, mornin, morning, play, play on words, Tuah, wordplay, words
I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

0

2 months ago

activity, exercise, fun, game, humor, i, mat, same, thing, Twister, yoga
Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

0

2 months ago

cat, dance, eight, fever, five, fun, humor, just, me, night, pet, pet refusal, quarantine, quarantine fun, refusal, refuses, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, six, solo, weekend, while, yelling
You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

0

2 months ago

affection, gift, humor, humor quote, light-hearted, metaphor, playful, romantic, sensitive, wind
I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

0

2 months ago

admit, am, curiosity, humor, i, intrigue, people, self-awareness, weird
If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

0

2 months ago

frustration, God, going, humor, meet, oh, time, trainee, training, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Messenger this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

11 shares on Discord this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

35 shares on Discord this month:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Live now on Snapchat:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Trending via Facebook:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Trending via Snapchat:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Trending via YouTube:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴