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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Making waves on YouTube:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Going bananas on WeChat:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Trending via LinkedIn:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

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Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.
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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ultimate quest for adulting perfection: Finding a home that doesn't break the bank, a stable income that actually stays stable, and a partner who doesn't fight over the TV remote 🏡💰💑. Who said being a grown-up was easy?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on TikTok this month:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

62 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Making waves on WeChat:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Trending via Reddit:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Trending via Discord:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Live now on Reddit:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Going viral on X:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not going is the new leaving early.

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