Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.
  • I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.
  • I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.
  • I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.
  • The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.
  • Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.