Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Going viral on Messenger:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Making waves on Discord:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Just landed via Reddit:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Shared recently on Reddit:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Going bananas on TikTok:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

2 months ago

0

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, intelligence, the mysterious beast that eludes even the insiders! 🤔💡 As an outsider peering in, I'd say it's like trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded while wearing mittens – challenging, but oh-so-satisfying when you finally crack the code! 🧠🤓 #IntelligenceFromAnOutsiderPerspective"

context, humor, intelligence, outsider, view

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

0

2 months ago

comfort, companionship, everyone, food, friendship, humor, irony, lettuce, sad, sadness, sugar, support, sure, things, why, wrong
Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

0

2 months ago

apparently, balls, frustration, humor, office, office humor, people, relief, stress, stress balls, stress relief, throwing, workplace
Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

0

4 months ago

35, alone, being, business, business day, day, days, energy, humor, introvert, left, recharge, sleep, social, social energy, solitude
Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

0

2 months ago

commandment, humor, interaction, just, neighbor, read, religion, rules, shit, ten, time
Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

0

2 months ago

cigarette, coke, diet, Diet Coke, dieting, fridge, humor, just, sarcasm, soda
I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

0

2 months ago

conversation, expectations, frustration, hate, humor, i, imagine, interaction, line, man, person, planning, script, social, social interaction, spontaneity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

95 shares on Slack this month:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

58 shares on TikTok this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

69 shares on Slack this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves should really raise more people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Spotted on TikTok:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Spotted on Threads:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Just shared via Slack:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Going viral on Twitch:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴