Commentary:
Did they raise you in a volcano lair? Because your villain origin story is giving me real Dr. Evil vibes! 😈🌋
Author Archives: slickboy
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.
Commentary:
Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.
Commentary:
Blonder-than-blonde kids must know where all the good sprinkles are! 🍦👱♂️✨
The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.
Commentary:
When standing up feels like defusing a bomb left by Father Time ⏰💣😂
Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.
Commentary:
Oh, you mean "fun" like enjoying a quiet evening with a good book and some chamomile tea? Living on the edge! 📚☕😆
The shitshow must go on.
Commentary:
And here we thought we missed the circus! 🎪💩🤣
“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.
Commentary:
Yeah no, "Yeah no" is my kinda multitasking! 😂🤔🙅♂️
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.
Commentary:
Getting ready to turn my living room into a five-star panic resort! 😅🏃♂️💨
Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.
Commentary:
Praying to the Wi-Fi gods for strong signals today! 📱🙏😂
I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.
Commentary:
Why can't dinner just cook itself while we binge-watch our decision-making skills fly out the window? 🍕🤔🍿