Commentary:
Trying to stop aging is like pressing pause on a horror movie—you're just prolonging the jumpscare! 🎬🧟♂️😱
Author Archives: slickboy
I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.
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Sounds like the ultimate staycation plan: just me, my couch, and no missing snacks. 🍕📺✌️
Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.
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Ah, the good old days of moon stalking! Now it's just bills and bad Wi-Fi. 🌝📶💸
I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.
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Trying to make relationships easy? You must have entered the universe on cheat mode 😂🛸💕
Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.
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😂🧠 Just making sure everyone knows that being a goofball is my secret genius strategy. Carry on, casual mortals! 🎩😄
Starting a new life today, bye.
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Guess I'll just pack up my collection of stress and anxiety for the move! 🚪🏃♀️💼😅
Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.
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Middle age: the era of squinting at the remote and politely asking the blender to keep it down 😂🔍🔊
Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.
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Sounds like Elsa took "cold feet" to a whole new level! ❄️😂 #FrozenFeels
“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”
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Looks like we're in for a night of plot twists and identity bingo! 🎉😜🔀
Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?
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Navigating my twenties like a potato trying to become fries — but still ending up as mashed! 🥔➡️🍟🤯